How To Be a Man: A Guide To Style and Behavior For The Modern Gentleman
How To Be a Man: A Guide To Style and Behavior For The Modern Gentleman
The ultimate sartorial and etiquette guide, from the ultimate life and style guru. By turns witty, sardonic, and always insightful, Glenn O’Brien’s advice column has been a must-read for several generations of men (and their spouses and girlfriends). Having cut his teeth as a contributor at Andy Warhol’s Interview in its heyday, O’Brien sharpened them as the creative director of advertising at the hip department store Barneys New York for ten years before starting his advice column at De
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An Essential Book,
I’ve been a big fan of Glenn O’Brien’s tone and perspective for a long time. As GQ’s style guy and a further contributor to the magazine and its podcast, it would be easy and perhaps predictable for him to take a dismissive or snobby stance while dealing out the dos and don’ts of taste, the way that other style and advice tsars seem to traffic in snarkiness while resenting their subjects and readers (for instance, Esquire’s sex columnist – she’s the WORST). But O’Brien the writer is always unfailingly polite, empathetic and seems generally considered with being of service in his column, in an almost Buddhist sense.
I was a little bit worried about the book after GQ published a teaser for it which distilled some of O’Brien’s tips on social politics into a single, awkward article that, stripped of the context of the book, came across as a bit bitchy and shallow. I bought the book anyway and my worries were unfounded. 90% of this book should be canonized. As someone who came to O’Brien’s writing relatively recently (apparently he used to write a great column for Interview Magazine back in the day, among other things), I was surprised at what a powerful prose stylist he is. Some of the passages are more effusive than others and when he really gets going there’s a huge, poetic lift. This is not a superficial book. He really lays out a clear philosophy of living that, at the risk of oversimplifying it, treats manners as a form of deference to the beauty of life – by paying attention to details and expressing ourselves in a thoughtful manner, we are telling the world and its people that we love it enough to take it seriously.
If I had a gripe it would be the numerous redundancies – for instance the fifth time O’Brien tells us who Beau Brummell is, or the seventh time he makes the point that casual dress codes in the workplace have served to blur social status. I couldn’t tell if these were editing errors or just O’Brien having a senior moment (maybe the book was meant to be considered a series of free-standing essays, whereas I read it straight through as one narrative) – but as an attentive reader it did feel a bit like having my intelligence insulted to be re-told the same things so many times, sometimes even on the same page.
Some of the chapters, such as the ones on dealing with air travel and doctors, are marred by a grouchiness that, as a man in my early 30s, I just couldn’t relate to. But then again, this is O’Brien at his most explicit and not his most polite. And the candor is exhilarating elsewhere, like in the rants on drug use, taste as a matter of survival and a particularly inspired chapter on the vital powers of old age vs. the emptiness of youth worship.
I could have used a chapter on fatherhood, and it seems that a section called How to Compete would have been a no-brainer for a book on manhood. But maybe they’ll tack that on to future editions – I definitely had the sense when reading this that I was reading the first edition of something that would last (and regretted spilling so much food on its pages).
Oh, and I’ll never agree that socks and sandals are OK. Never!
Buy this book. For my sake. I need compatriots.
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|How to Be a Man – Glenn O’Brien (Rizzoli),
You remember Glenn O’Brien. As music columnist for Andy Warhol’s Interview magazine, G.O’B. was the periscope on the submarine that was underground, punk rock during its landmark decade in the 80′s. He later expanded his sphere of influence into fashion and art through his “Style Guy” column at GQ magazine and a stint with the publisher of magazines like “Antiques” and “Art in America.”. In fact, when it comes to fashion, style and the arts, the O’Brien arsenal is tough to beat.
It is then with both great anticipation and curiosity that we watch as he turns his gaze to the subject of manhood in the newly released volume “How to Be a Man: A Guide to Style and Behavior for the Modern Gentleman.” (Rizzoli)
So what is a man in the modern day sense and what does it take to become one?
In O’Brien’s view, a man is a person who employs the utmost of style and care when it comes to everything from wardrobe to behavior to the way he exudes his sexuality. O’Brien is a taskmaster when it comes to natty dress, manners and even where a man fits along the hetero, homo and metro-sexual continuum. In fashion, O’Brien’s purview runs head-to-toe covering every detail from haircuts to underwear, collar-stays to ascots. There is even an ample discussion of the so-called `dandies.’ (He likes hetros and dandies, though he chastises some gays for not being “gay enough.”)
No one can fault O’Brien for his erudite musings. His range of knowledge is exemplary – covering cultures from the ancient Greeks to the Taliban, philosophers from Socrates to Chuck D. (Only O’Brien would cover the range of beards from ZZ Top to Rutherford B. Hayes.) His writing style is about as punchy as it gets, with each sentence delivering like the cutting remarks of a professorial stand-up comic. One must only question his target.
Has he written the book for people like himself? Is O’Brien merely trying to show off his erudite plumage? (probably) Is he so imbued with the Manhattan lifestyle that he can no longer relate to readers in the flyover states – or they to him? (He basically writes them off towards the end in his chapter on patriotism when he proclaims of the great middle ground, “Wouldn’t they be happier without our smug East Coast attitudes?”)
In all, O’Brien’s book is not a guide for the everyman but rather a dissertation of a certain style designed for the (increasingly) select few for whom such rules still seems to matter. But as a throughly entertaining read on the art, fashion, behaviors and history of the modern gent (dandy or not) it succeeds no matter what code you ascribe to – dress or zip.
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|How To Be A (Certain Kind of) Man,
These days, there are any number of men who consider themselves ultra stylish and therefore highly qualified to dispense sartorial advice. Look no further than the internet, and its endless guides to style, masculinity and so on. If you can buy The Right Look at Urban Outfitters, and spend an hour a day curating the ripped-off photos on your Tumblr blog, you’re practically a style icon. O’Brien actually earned his status as a purveyor of style through years of toil at Interview, GQ, Vanity Fair, et al.
I’ve long been a fan of Glenn O’Brien. As much as he gives sage advice, he’s funny and irreverent, too (if sardonic wit is your cup of tea). There are more important things going on in the world, and O’Brien knows it. I am of the camp that believes you can have your well-fitting pants and work for peace on earth, too.
How To Be A Man is smart and funny, and sure: some of his proclamations are ludicrous; saying someone like Armani looks good with his deep-fried glow is preposterous. As is the suggestion that type-o blood types need to eat meat. Insanity!
But good manners are a lost art; and I would argue that the importance of never wearing flip flops in public can’t be over-stated. O’Brien has plenty of important things to say that both mock and embrace convention, simultaneously.
How To Be A Man is really about how to be a certain kind of man. But the world could certainly stand more of a certain kind of man. And if you’re the kind of man, like myself, who occasionally needs some words of wisdom on waxing…: this book is indispensable.
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